10.24.11
People who I resemble (supposedly)
Hi readers! I was absent for a few weeks; I had taken vacations and was exploring Los Angeles and Las Vegas. Pretty soon I’ll make a post or two, detailing all my adventures.
Sooo, I’m constantly being told I look like people. When people first meet me, they usually think I’m Italian, Jewish, Arabic, Hindu (wtf??), but they don’t assume I’m Hispanic, even though we’re in Miami where Hispanics are ubiquitous. For a time, I used long hair. My hair is dark, wavy and hard to control. Unless I use large amounts of gel to control and hold it, it resembles a lions mane. If I use gel, my hair falls back and looks a bit nice.
A week ago I cut my hair, but when I had it long it easily reached my shoulders. During the 2 year period in which I didn’t cut it, my hair would take various amorphous shapes and patterns. In the process, people would randomly tell me that I resembled celebrities. While I might see the resemblance for some, others left me completely baffled. On the good side, I never got confused for someone incredibly ugly, like the fat guy from the Borat movie. On the flip side, I never get confused with a lady killer. Oh, well. Here’s a list of celebrities I resemble:
Jesse Bradford: I must say, he’s good looking cat. If only people knew who he was. According to some website or Facebook app, in which you insert a picture of yourself, I have a 89 % resemblance to him. Bradford has been around Hollywood for several years. He was a background character in Hackers (1995), and in Bring It On, he played Kirsten Dunst’s boyfriend. He had lead roles in Swimfan (2003), which was Fatal Attraction but in the college swimming scene, and Clockstoppers (2002), about some time travelers.
Keanu Reeves: According to some hot large-boobied lady I met at the beach one day, I look like Keanu Reeves with my long hair. She actually said I looked like Neo. Now, I wasn’t acting stoned nor as if I have an IQ of 70, which is basically Keanu during the 80s, long before he came a serious actor. I blame Speed (1994).
Gary Oldman: Some chick I met at a concert back in 2002, swore that I was identical to Gary. She must’ve been a fan of his, because I actually got some nookie that night. Great concert, don’t ask me who performed.
Steve Buscemi: According to 2 different friends who don’t know each other, I look like Steve. One friend says he thought of me, during the airplane scene from Con Air, where Steve is singing “she’s got the whole world in his hands”, while the plane is about to crash. Whatever….Fuckers….
Roland Orzabal / You’re wondering who the hell is that? He was lead singer for awesome 80′s Brit duo Tears For Fears. When I had long hair ,some told me I resembled Roland in the “Head Over Heels” video. This video, which is filmed inside a library, shows Roland hitting on a sexy librarian (that is so me!).
An Orthodox Jew / Walking around parts of Miami Beach, whenever I encountered religious Orthodox Jews, they ask me if I want to join their congregation. When I politely respond that my family is Catholic and I’m mostly Atheist, they simply say “aah”.
Jesus Christ / When I had long hair plus beard, someone told me I resemble what Jesus would really look like. My skin is an olive tone, and of course Jesus wasn’t blue eyed and light skinned as He is portrayed in Medieval art. Jesus would have an olive skin complexion similar to people from the Mediterranean and the Middle East. I wonder if I should go audition for Jesus Christ Superstar…
