12.15.10
Cold Weather…brrr…
So right now, Miami is experimenting cold weather just like back in the good old 1980s. I remember the coldest winter ever, 1989, when the thermometer hit 22 degrees and my parents bundled me and my sisters up like mummies..literally. Right now the weather is 40 degrees; many Miamians and transplants are turning on their heaters for the first time since last year (prior to last year, many heaters hadn’t been used since the Pleistocene age). The cold weather was it’s pros and cons. Let’s break it down.
Pros: Women can debut their winter clothes, which has been collecting dust in their closets. This wardrobe includes tight jeans with boots, the best combination since peanut butter and jelly.
Surf’s up dude; the cold weather has brought rather large waves and swells. Yesterday, the news recorded 6 feet waves in South Beach. The only other time we get waves that large,…is during hurricanes. Californians are lucky bastards who get 20 feet waves without hurricanes (on the flip side they get earthquakes).
If you outside you won’t sweat as much as during the summer months. During the summer, I would start melting after being outside for a few seconds. Similarly, I could only run in the late evening, early morning or at night.
Cons: Again, running is nice in the 60s and maybe even upper 50s (that’s Fahrenheit degrees for all the foreign folks). But there’s no way I’m running outside when the thermometer hits 33 degrees as it did a few days ago. I might be iron-mannish and into taking exercises to the extreme, but there’s a fine line between being hard-core and being suicidal.
Since most Miamians aren’t used to the cold weather, they’ll prefer to stay home than to hangout. This is a FAIL situation, since December is high season for tourism, and there are many female tourists out there looking for local Miami men.
Similarly, there tourists come here because their fleeing the freezing temperatures of the Northeast, Midwest and London (ah, them Midwestern chicks..). They don’t expect Miami to have cold weather that will force them to stay in their hotel rooms (double FAIL).
Last but not least: the cold weather forces people (ie fine ass women), to cover up. I like seeing boobs and ass hanging out of a girl’s bikini. I like my women scantily clad, half naked, dammit!
So as you can see, I’ll enjoy the cold for now, but I always awaiting the summer sunshine.
